I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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