i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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