whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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