this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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