at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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