White coat. Heels.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
