When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This is my gift to your gina
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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