I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
