i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
