we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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