I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
