I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
