So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
