is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
