I heard we made out
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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