you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
