You made me cry and you don't even care
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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