My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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