I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
