He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
