So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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