i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
