I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
