I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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