My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
