hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
