So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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