glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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