Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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