The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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