turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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