The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
