i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
