I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize