Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
