I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
