It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
