My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
