i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
