God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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