So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
