Someone shit on the floor
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
