I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize