Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just threw up on my dentist
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
