Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
