how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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