I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
