wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
