haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
