I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
