some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
