Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
