okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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