I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
