Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
