i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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